9/29/2020 0 Comments Formal Writing LessonFormal Writing Lesson Both sentences are grammatically appropriate, however the author of the second sentence appears silly. Note carefully the distinction between that and which . If you don’t want to restrict the which means of your sentence’s subject, then don’t. Write quick sentences and skim them aloud to check for readability. Start with the topic and observe it quickly with an lively verb. When doubtful, err on the facet of being overly clear. You might know what you’re talking about, however when you see these marginal comments, you've confused your reader. If possible, have an excellent writer learn your paper and level out the muddled parts. A secondary source is one written by a later historian who had no part in what he or she is writing about. Just as you should be crucial of major sources, so too you must be important of secondary sources. You should be especially cautious to distinguish between scholarly and non-scholarly secondary sources. Let’s say that your essay is about Martin Luther’s social views. You write, “The German peasants who revolted in 1525 have been brutes and deserved to be crushed mercilessly.” That’s what Luther thought, but do you agree? You may know, however your reader just isn't a mind reader. (“Napoleon was a person who tried to overcome Europe.”) Here the relative clause adds nothing. Rewrite as “Napoleon tried to overcome Europe.” Unnecessary relative clauses are a traditional form of wordiness. Always be clear about whether you’re giving your opinion or that of the author or historical actor you might be discussing. “London was actually destroyed by the blitz.” This means that the whole metropolis was destroyed, when, in reality, only components were destroyed. Rewrite as “The blitz destroyed parts of London.” Now you’ve certified correctly . Limit the number of relative clauses, participial phrases, adjectives, adverbs, and prepositional phrases. You will win no prizes for eloquence, but a minimum of you will be clear. Add complexity only when you have discovered to deal with it. This is a brand new error, probably a carryover from the widespread conversational behavior of pausing dramatically after although. (“Although, coffee consumption rose in eighteenth-century Europe, tea remained way more popular.”) Delete the comma after though. Remember that though is not a synonym for the word nevertheless, so you can't solve the problem within the sentence by putting a period after Europe. A clause starting with though can't stand alone as a sentence. The first sentence has a nonrestrictive relative clause; the dates are included nearly as parenthetical information. But one thing appears amiss with the second sentence. These are often both filler words (the written equal of “uh” or “um”) or weasel words that merely call attention to your vagueness, lack of conviction, or lazy unwillingness to qualify precisely. (“Essentially, Churchill believed that Nazi Germany introduced a grave danger to Britain.”) Delete basically and mainly unless you're writing about essences or bases. If you might be having trouble with your writing, try simplifying.
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